It’s been a year of many blessings. It’s hard to put into words the love I have for you. The sense of pride and joy I have when we see you reach a new milestone.

I can’t believe it’s already been a year. I wish I can freeze time or perhaps put you in a bottle so you can stay tiny forever.

I will always remember the first few weeks we spent together. Holding you in my arms letting you sleep on my chest or snuggling with you on the couch. Nowadays you don’t fall asleep as easily in my arms but in the rare cases that you do, I just hang out and savor every bit of it until you wake up grumpy because you’ve shifted into a less comfortable position.

I still can’t believe I’m breastfeeding you. They say its the best thing you can do for a baby. Going into it I was thinking it would be max of 8 months. And there are many times in which I wanted to give up. I am happy to say that I stuck it out for the full year and will miss the bonding and attachment when this process is all over in a week or so.

As for eating solids, you’ve become quite unpredictable. You started out loving food. And I loved planning out your meals and pureeing all thee different organic veggies I can think of. Then somehow you became a picky eater. There were days when you didn’t want food and days when you wanted more. It’s so hard to tell what you like or don’t like because you treat all food items so inconsistently. I hope we get past this soon and enjoy food as much as your mom and dad.

Another inconsistent behavior is your sleeping habits. It’s the second most annoying thing (next to your eating ones). I can’t figure out what it is maybe we are just too tired to think about it. But half the time you sleep through the night and the other half you wake up screaming. Luckily the last few weeks you’ve been able to fall asleep on your own but for awhile we thought the cycle would never end. We still try to nap when you nap because you wear us out!

I’m writing this post in light of a horrific tragedy. One that certainly hits close to home. Something unimaginable caused by evil that I hope someday you’ll never have to encounter and learn about. Unfortunately in my lifetime there have been many of these tragedies and as your mama I will do my best to protect you and show you as much love as a being can give. You will always be kept safe.

We took our first family vacation over the weekend. It was intended to see family, my mom and brother and his family. That part was nice, but we were able to squeeze in some sightseeing while in Seattle. The weather couldn’t be more pleasant. It was nice and sunny and just cool enough that a hoodie would do. I wish we had more time, but I’m sure we will visit again soon. My mom loved seeing E, and couldn’t believe how big she’s gotten. She kept commenting about how chubby her cheeks are. They are quite squeezable.

She was an amazing baby during our flights to and from Washington. Luckily we had window seats on both legs so I was able to nurse during both takeoffs and landing. She did get a bit fussy for no more than ten minutes at the beginning and e d, but only because she was super sleepy. I hate early ,or my flights, but for a short trip, I wanted to maximize our time at the destinations. Anyway, she slept through most of the flights which was great. The only part that was embarrassing was her gas. Boy was she gassy. I hope it was confined to just our row because it stank! Poor baby hadn’t had a bowel movement since Thursday. She finally pood this morning.

Anyway, to recap, we got there Friday morning, grabbed our car rental, and made our way to my brothers house. It’s nice staying at a place for free! My mom was about to head out to a doctors appointment, so we went and grabbed lunch at a Szechuan restaurant. There are lots of Asians eateries up there. Food was ok, I don’t think I like the numbing, tingling effect of the szechuan peppercorn. It was odd and unpleasant. After lunch, we napped before heading out to go your the town. We drove around, but didn’t really have any place to go, so we ended up on Mercer Island and stopped at a cute little coffeeshop called Starbucks.

After feeding her we had dinner and headed back home. We got an early start the next day, and headed downtown to Pike Place. First we picked up some donuts for breakfast at Top Pot Doughnuts. It’s supposedly famous for its donuts, but after spending
34 dollars for 1.5 dozen donuts it tasted a bit overrated. Hope the rest of the family enjoyed it. Pike place was nice. I wish we had something similar in Dallas, but I don’t think we ever will. We don’t even have water!

The next day we reluctantly agreed to go on a picnic at Deception Pass National park. Reluctant because it’s a two hour drive, and we wanted to spend our last day with my mom. I’m glad we w t though because the puget sound mixed with the forest and sunny weather was great. We made it nome for dinner and hung our with mom before baby had to go down for bed for the night. We will return soon. More pictures to come. These are just images from our phones.

It’s usually go go go during the weekdays. Once dinner is over, we wake the baby from her nap, give her a bath, then put her to bed. I’m still super tired by then so I’ll be in bed soon after. Maybe we will watch tv for a bit before I pass out. I’m still getting used to my 5 am wake up. It’s no fun.

Baby E is going through some changes the last 2 weeks. Early last week all she wanted to do was sleep. And if she wasn’t sleeping, she was super hungry!! I had to pack a forth bottle. This week she learned how to flip from her belly to her back. She has only done it twice and I’ve missed both times. I hope to catch it over the weekend. The other fun milestone is she’s starting to laugh. I’ve played peekaboo with her a couple times and she gives me the cutest belly laugh. Can’t wait to hear more giggles.

She’s changing nearly everyday. I wish I can bottle her up so she can stay tiny forever.

Monster baby.

When she turned 4 months, we decided not to swaddle her arms. We figured she will start rolling over one of these days. In lieu of that, I guess she needed another way of comforting herself. So
She sucks on her fingers. We’ve avoided giving her a paci at bedtime up until now. Hope it’s only a phase…

The other annoying thing is that she likes to scratch her head. She’s been doing that since 2-3 months but recently I noticed some scabs from her scratching. The doctor told us to use Aquafor which seems to be working. It’s only been two days but I haven’t seen her scratch her head. Poor baby just had an itchy scalp. She inherits all her dry skin from me. We got a bunch of California baby shampoo and lotions for our shower awhile back. While the products are nice, I think I may switch to something for more sensitive skin. Last thing I want is for her to get eczema like I did when I was a kid.

Despite her silly bad habits, she’s still a happy baby. In fact I was able to get her to laugh the other day. It wasn’t a full out laugh but she chuckled and her belly shook. Can’t wait to see more of that. :)

I started work at a new place. Baby E started daycare. Since then we’ve had very little time to just do nothing. It feels like its go go go nonstop. Not sure how working moms do it. But it’s rough. But mentally and physically. I can barely keep my eyes open at 8:30 in the evening. I blame my revised work schedule. Due to the long commute to downtown, I decided to adjust my schedule from 7-4. This allows me to get home around 5ish. But that also means I get to be awake at 5 or earlier depending on the baby. Ooof.

My first day back was ok. But when driving home and realizing I wasn’t going to get home till 6:30 that night I bawled all the way home and kept wondering if I made a mistake. The good thing about the last job is that the hours are flexible and the commute was easy. I was used to rolling out of bed at 7:30 and getting to work at 9. But thata the only thing I miss…

Anyhow, I’ve adjusted well to the new place. I’ve just got to get my groove back with my energy. The only time I can see myself squeezing any type of fitness routine to keep myself going is at night. But of course I’m usually asleep by 9 if not earlier. Once this nursing business is done, I can probably head to the gym at work. Thank goodness there’s one in walking distance.

Speaking of, pumping at work has been fine with the exception of Tues/Thurs. that’s when the health room is occupied by the massage therapist. On those days, I’d have to run to my car which is parked a block away. I’m not looking forward to walking to my car in the summer. Its totally awkward pumping in the car, mainly bc of the space and the fact that occasionally someone is getting in and out of the car next to me. Luckily the garage is somewhat dimly lit. I’m so ready to be done with this pumping business. :p

So the baby…
She’s changed a lot!! We have started dressing her in 6 months outfits. She’s gotten so big and starting to develop a personality. Just today we saw her grab her toes for the first time. She’s getting used to her hands and is starting to awkwardly grab on toys and putting them in her mouth. She’s developing a bad habit of eating her fingers. She got her first cold, probably from the other germy kids at school. She’s no longer spitting up. She’s pooping less like 3 times a week instead of daily. Because Of that, her poop is smellier and thicker, yay…

She’s getting bald and losing her hair. She smiles a bunch and is starting to develop a laugh. No belly laughs yet. But the biggest thing is that she no longer cries for every little thing. Instead she screams. She still cries when she’s absolutely unhappy though. To sum up her personality, I’d say she’s inquisitive. It’s all in the expression she gives.

She’s perfect in every single way and the most beautiful baby ever. I can’t wait to see her hit her next milestones (ie. rolling and laughing).

Her 4 month checkup is tomorrow. I hope to post stats then. I also need to post about our experience with daycare.

We didn’t get to take a 4 month picture but here’s one from the weekend.

It’s exciting to see all these little milestones, and they seem to occur almost weekly. She will be turning 3 months on Saturday.

She definitely has a stronger neck and can sit up (with assistance of course). There is the occasional head butting, but she’s getting there. She’s getting to the point where she would try to sit up when laying in her swing or bouncer.

The other exciting milestone is grabbing objects. I’m not sure if she really knows what she’s doing, but she’s definitely aware of her hands and will grab a toy and swing it around. She likes to stick her hand in her mouth and chew in it. The other day, I caught her chewing on one of her toys (but I think the toy was just in the way of her hand). Because she has found her hands we’ve had to rely on the pacifier more often. We only give it to her when she starts sucking on her hands and during the day when she naps. The problem is she can never keep it in and she will wake up every 15 minutes crying and wanting her paci. It makes for a very unproductive nap.

And finally, she is sleeping through the night. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I think the late feeding at 8:30 is helping. She will sleep until 5 or 6, and she wakes up without crying, just from moving around and some fussing.

I’m hoping we can be a bit more consistent with her bedtime. Tonight she’s going down at 7:30, last night was 8:30… Luckily it’s never after 9 and the routine is always consistent.

One new development that’s rather annoying is that she’s voicing her discomfort more. Lots of angry screaming and crying. It happens when bath time is over and we are dressing her, or if we are changing her and shes not in the mood at the time. I wonder if she’s too cold or not ready to get out of the tub.

Lots of new little things… She’s pretty easy going for the most part.

I spoke to my mom today, and she sounded sad that she couldn’t see the baby. I guess we will have to make a trip soon to visit her.

I’m not looking forward to starting work. I’d hate to miss out on any new developments.

We went and bought new faster flowing nipples for the NuK which she was using, a Dr. Brown bottle, and Playtex Ventaire. So far, I don’t think it’s a bottle issue, so we are sticking with the Nuk.

It’s really quite frustrating and defeating. Yesterday was the worst. Brian tried to feed her and she screamed and screamed. I tried offering the boob, but by then she was too upset, so we just put her to bed.

I successfully gave her a 4 oz bottle this morning, but not without the licking, gagging process. It also took an hour.

We’ve talked about exclusively bottle feeding to avoid all the anxiety that comes with breastfeeding. Things like, not making enough milk, etc. But really the big thing holding me back is the bonding experience. Despite the terrible first two weeks, I actually enjoy it. There isn’t a moment that makes me feel closer to her than when we nurse.

But we’ve got to get this bottle feeding under control so she doesn’t become a pain for the daycare folks in a few weeks. We are visiting her grandparents this weekend. I think it’d be a good idea to have them try to feed her, just so she’s not used Brian or myself.

Miss E did pretty well. On the way there, we had to stop in Waco to feed her, but we had to wake her to do so. It was either that or pulling over on the middle of 35 somewhere. She slept most of the way there without fussing. In the afternoon we drove another 45 minutes to visit more family and she finally threw a fit during the last 15 minutes if the drive. The same thing happened on our return trip home yesterday. I guess she was just ready to get out of her carseat.

We are hoping to head down there soon. If she does relatively well, maybe we can take a roadtrip later this year.

Today, she can smile, coo, look at you, recognize faces and voices. She can see and likes to peek at the tv whenever she gets a chance. We sometimes have to face her away or just turn off the tv when that happens. She kicks and wiggles, and is getting good about letting us know about her discomfort. She’ll scream when she doesn’t want anymore milk or cry when she’s over stimulated. She prefers to sit up and watch us instead of lay there and play. She’s still working on holding up her head since it bobbles every now and then. Unfortunately, she gets tired of tummy time after about 10 minutes at a time.

From her 2 month checkup she’s still in the 75th percentile in weight and head, and 90th percentile in height. This baby is long! None of her pants really fit, even the 3 month old pair. Speaking of clothing the best outfits are the onesie tops or pajamas with the footies.
Pretty soon, we’ll have to transition her into the 3/6 month outfits.

She still gets fussy in the late afternoons, but I think it’s primarily due to overstimulation and not hunger. It’s when daddy gets home and we’re actually starting to do stuff around the house. Whereas during the day, we’re quietly playing or napping while I try to squeeze one in myself, shower, or put up laundry.

I’m hoping in the last 3 weeks at home, I’ll be able to replenish our freezer with more meals, start (and hopefully finish) on a digital scrapbook, and maybe finish a book. In the meantime, I’m milking all the time I can get with her, since returning back to work after this long hiatus will be a challenge. I’m really going to miss my time with her, sniff sniff.