Seeing my dad

I had to drop off a few things at the funeral home yesterday. I asked to see my dad at that time. I can’t describe the emotion. It was both fear and sadness. Fear because I’m in the room with my dad’s dead body. Sadness bc I wanted to say something but knew he wouldn’t hear me. I’m glad I got to see him
alone, and was comforted knowing that Brian and Baby E were in the car waiting for me.

I’m hoping Monday is the last time I will have to deal with this process….

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Chaos

It’s hard for me to focus on the big picture when life is chaotic. Chaos in the sense that I feel like I have no
control over the house or the dogs, baby, life.

As y’all know, my dad was pretty ill. He had a bunch of infections that they could no longer treat. On new years eve, a week after Baby E was born I got a call from my sister that he had passed. I am sad that we didn’t get to see him, but relieved that he no longer has to suffer. Thank goodness we Skyped a few days earlier and he at least got to see us and talk to us face to face. He even got to see the dogs. I’m sad that Baby E won’t have any memories of him. I hope I have enough stories to share when she’s older.

With this going on, everything I wanted to do around the house is piling up. Unfortunately we’ve had an endless flow of family coming through with more trash created and more things piling up. Its daunting to the point where I don’t know where to begin. Brian’s been truly helpful in that department but we’ve been so sleep deprived the last couple of days that it’s hard to do anything else.

We originally thought that she was overdressed or underdressed. Then it became clear last night that she has a stuffy nose. Poor baby can barely breathe laying flat on her back. She wouldn’t sleep at night. Thankfully someone at work had gifted us a nose spray for infants so we started using that. Last night we had her sleep on the bouncer so that her head is elevated and she actually slept through the night. She only wakes when she was hungry or needed her diaper changed.

I have my alarm set for every two hours to remind me of her feeding time. It went off last night at 1am and after turning it off I think I just went back to sleep. At 2:30 the baby started fussing and I realized I didn’t feed her an hour ago. I felt horrible. But I was just too sleepy. I’m logging every feeding and diaper change into an app so we can track them. It’s a little much but it’s good to have logged so we can track any issues.

Today’s plan is to do more laundry and chill with the baby.

I’ll also be working on the sideshow for my dads funeral and putting together the program. Speaking of funeral, my
Siblings want to have a traditional Buddhist service. Fine by me, but personally I would’ve wanted him to be buried with a traditional Christian service. I guess he would’ve wanted it the other way, it will just make this experience different for me. But that doesn’t matter… Unfortunately some of the family isn’t showing up bc we are having a Buddhist ceremony. WTF???
I have more thoughts on this but my brain is too tired right now.

I just need to get through this weekend so that I can really focus on myself and the baby.

One last update. We got a call from the pediatrician that her newborn screening came back abnormal. The screening for anemia came back with not normal
results. We are still waiting on a call
back, so as new parents we are a freaking out. I really hope it’s nothing.

Chaos I tell ya…

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Update on parents

Dad was supposed to be discharged last week to a skilled nursing facility but suddenly got UTI which they are trying to treat. On top of that my mother was sent to the hospital this weekend because her condition worsened. They
suspect congestive heart failure due to the fact that she’s not diligent with her meds. I’m hoping there are no serious damages to her organs in case we waited too long to get her treatment. Thank goodness my brother is in town to help out my sister. I wish I can be there…

It’s also frustrating to learn that in only 3 months their condition didn’t improve. Not to my sisters fault by any means, but the fact that they didn’t bother to ask for help when they were truly feeling bad.

At this point I can only hope that they can be treated and that they return home healthy.

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Update

Dad got sent to the intensive care unit. I hope they can determine the issue and that it’s fixable. He’s been put through the ringer many times, so I know he’s resilient. We don’t need this craziness in our lives right now. Prayers are needed all around.

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10 years ago…

Today marks the 10th anniversary of 9/11. I remember driving to school after having dropping off my niece to school. I can’t remember why I had to drive her…it’s such a rare event. As I was heading towards campus I remember traffic being terrible, but I wasn’t quite paying attention to it since something strange was bring reported on the radio. I remembered hearing plane crash and Dulles, etc. To understand the gravity of the situation, I called Brian. He was still asleep, but I told him something is wrong and to turn on the tv. I remember hearing his reaction as he saw a plane crash into one of the towers. When I finally got to my 9:30 class, someone had the news displayed on the projector. I was still on the phone at that time. I recalled one guy leaving the classroom immediately. His dad worked for the US Embassy. Our prof walked in, turned off the tv. Gave us a pop quiz and dismissed us shortly after. Everyone seemed to be in a daze. Cell phone circuits became tied up. I decided I should just go home and see my parents.

I don’t know where this world will lead us, but I just hope our baby grows up knowing about her surroundings and where to turn to when she’s in danger. I’d hate to think anything like this will happen again but as a proud American I shouldn’t allow this event to prevent us from living a normal life.

In other news, my parents have moved in with my sister. I don’t know what the next few weeks or months or years will be like, but I know that my sister and parents will have to adjust to this new living arrangement. I just pray that it’s for the best. The burden on myself and niece was becoming unmanageable. I was losing too much sleep and becoming too stressed over the little stuff. I’m not saying that I won’t continue to worry… But I hope they are in good hands. If not I will gladly bring them back to Dallas.

It’s been a sad day…

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Update on life

I haven’t posted in awhile. Its been a hectic week and it feels like its never ending. I even had to reschedule my Pmp exam since I’m behind with studying. Anyway my dad is in the hospital. Its been over a week. They are trying to control his blood sugar and his kidneys have reached the advanced stages meaning in about six to a couple years it could fail altogether. Not cool. So I’m not quite sure what to do. I told my parents it is about time that they move in with my sister in MN. It’s not that I don’t have time for them or that I can’t make the time but my sister and her family are more suited to care for them then I am. That is what’s important. I can’t tow my dad back forth to the hospital especially if he has to be on dialysis one day. Anyway that is what I’ve been dealing with. It sucks but what can you do? Anyway I hope that in the short term things will be ok. I just want my dad out of the hospital. Poor guy, he is miserable.

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Babysitting parents

My mom wants to go to Cambodia for a month sometime in March because my grandmother’s sick. Anyway, she wanted me to stay with my dad for a month or two while she’s gone. I know he can’t be alone and really there’s no other choice. I can always let him stay at our apartment but he has nowhere to sleep, and I’m sure Brian wouldn’t like it. A month is just TOOO long. Dangit, I really don’t want to stay away from home for a whole month. I’ll miss my dog and husband. Granted they’re only 20 minutes away, but still. I’m not sure what to do. I’m thinking if I fly him to either my brother’s or sister’s they would enjoy having him. I know that sounds selfish, but it’s a whole friggin month, maybe even TWO. I wouldn’t have minded if it was only a couple weeks. I’m not even sure if I like the thought of my mom traveling internationally alone. I’m sure she’ll be fine. Anyway, I guess we’ll see.

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It’s almost the holidays

I’m hoping to get by this time around without having to work. But already my clients are asking if I’m going to be around, dang retail marketers! I’m going to make a pumpkin cheesecake to bring with us, but I think we’ll have to keep it in a cooler, so I don’t know…

Reesey’s been doing good, Brian’s making yet another layout for this site, and so far I like it.

As for the other stuff, parents are doing fine, car is running great, married life is peachy. Woohoo.

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