We are still working on getting the feeding in a rhythm that works for us. I’ve been pumping more over the past week only because it was easier. But each time I pump, I feel guilty that I’m missing out on any bonding we may have. So beginning last night I’ve cut back. I feel like we’ve started over.

It seems that after feeding off one side she’s done. She’d go for about 20 minutes so I’m not concerned that she’s not getting enough. But that leaves me lopsided until her next feeding. Perhaps after today we’ll both figure each other out and my body can regulate the supply based on her needs. I plan to
pump a couple times a day just so she gets used to the bottle.

We also had to start giving her a paci
only because she kept reaching for her fingers. But luckily we haven’t had to use it the last couple of days. Maybe because I’ve responded by feeding her. So far she’s eating every 2.5 – 3 hours. I still rely on an alarm at night, but she usually starts stirring and waking a few minutes before it goes off.

I really hope we get this straightened out by the time Brian goes to work next week…luckily all the family have left so no more distractions.

I’m hoping Monday is the last time I will have to deal with this process….

As y’all know, my dad was pretty ill. He had a bunch of infections that they could no longer treat. On new years eve, a week after Baby E was born I got a call from my sister that he had passed. I am sad that we didn’t get to see him, but relieved that he no longer has to suffer. Thank goodness we Skyped a few days earlier and he at least got to see us and talk to us face to face. He even got to see the dogs. I’m sad that Baby E won’t have any memories of him. I hope I have enough stories to share when she’s older.

With this going on, everything I wanted to do around the house is piling up. Unfortunately we’ve had an endless flow of family coming through with more trash created and more things piling up. Its daunting to the point where I don’t know where to begin. Brian’s been truly helpful in that department but we’ve been so sleep deprived the last couple of days that it’s hard to do anything else.

We originally thought that she was overdressed or underdressed. Then it became clear last night that she has a stuffy nose. Poor baby can barely breathe laying flat on her back. She wouldn’t sleep at night. Thankfully someone at work had gifted us a nose spray for infants so we started using that. Last night we had her sleep on the bouncer so that her head is elevated and she actually slept through the night. She only wakes when she was hungry or needed her diaper changed.

I have my alarm set for every two hours to remind me of her feeding time. It went off last night at 1am and after turning it off I think I just went back to sleep. At 2:30 the baby started fussing and I realized I didn’t feed her an hour ago. I felt horrible. But I was just too sleepy. I’m logging every feeding and diaper change into an app so we can track them. It’s a little much but it’s good to have logged so we can track any issues.

Today’s plan is to do more laundry and chill with the baby.

I’ll also be working on the sideshow for my dads funeral and putting together the program. Speaking of funeral, my
Siblings want to have a traditional Buddhist service. Fine by me, but personally I would’ve wanted him to be buried with a traditional Christian service. I guess he would’ve wanted it the other way, it will just make this experience different for me. But that doesn’t matter… Unfortunately some of the family isn’t showing up bc we are having a Buddhist ceremony. WTF???
I have more thoughts on this but my brain is too tired right now.

I just need to get through this weekend so that I can really focus on myself and the baby.

One last update. We got a call from the pediatrician that her newborn screening came back abnormal. The screening for anemia came back with not normal
results. We are still waiting on a call
back, so as new parents we are a freaking out. I really hope it’s nothing.

Chaos I tell ya…

It’s also frustrating to learn that in only 3 months their condition didn’t improve. Not to my sisters fault by any means, but the fact that they didn’t bother to ask for help when they were truly feeling bad.

At this point I can only hope that they can be treated and that they return home healthy.

I don’t know where this world will lead us, but I just hope our baby grows up knowing about her surroundings and where to turn to when she’s in danger. I’d hate to think anything like this will happen again but as a proud American I shouldn’t allow this event to prevent us from living a normal life.

In other news, my parents have moved in with my sister. I don’t know what the next few weeks or months or years will be like, but I know that my sister and parents will have to adjust to this new living arrangement. I just pray that it’s for the best. The burden on myself and niece was becoming unmanageable. I was losing too much sleep and becoming too stressed over the little stuff. I’m not saying that I won’t continue to worry… But I hope they are in good hands. If not I will gladly bring them back to Dallas.

It’s been a sad day…

…puppy!

This morning, Brian and I went to visit our new puppy Leah, or Lele. We walked in and saw 7 precious puppies all running around in their little pen. Baby Lele was one of the smallest and pretty shy out of the bunch. But we think she’ll be the perfect match for Miss Reesey.

While we were playing with the pups, I was a bit undecided between her and the other doggy. But the other pup was like a pistol and too rambunctious. Besides, our intention was to go see Lele. Anyway, we’ve fallen in love and can’t wait to bring her home in a month. I just hope Reesey treats her well.

I felt not being able to get Brian what he wanted this year, a Wii or a PS3, but I looked and looked and of course they’re sold out everywhere. So this year his gifts are pretty lame. That’s ok though, since all the “electronic” equipment I buy him gets shoved in the closet anyway, like his WACOM tablet that I tried to pawn off the other day to a coworker. Hrmph. I am never buying you what you want, EVER, you hear?? I am still bitter about the bike! It’s sitting in the office, the tires all flat, unused and unhappy.

Anyway, unfortunately I had to be back into work today, and what a busy day it was. I was hoping to leave early too, but of course that didn’t happen. I hope the rest of the week is slow. Now that the holidays are over, it’s time for to get back into shape. My “skinny” jeans are no longer loose. Must hit gym and be on strict diet. I’m hoping to be even more successful this time around than I was earlier this year, especially since I don’t have a big motivator. For those of you looking to get in shape, you should look into MyFoodDiary.com (which I’ve been using or was using) or SparkPeople.com. Both are great tools.

Anyway, I hope I sleep well enough to wake up early tomorrow to hit the gym… ick.

What’s your favorite Christmas movie? Mine is Love Actually. Love that movie and the Mariah Carey song that’s in it – All I want for Christmas.

Yesterday, I wrapped all of Brian’s gifts. I hope he likes them. I had no clue what to buy him since he nixed my grand idea – DirecTV.

Also, yesterday my coworkers and I went to go have Pho for lunch since it was raining and cold. I realized I haven’t had pho in forever, it was good.

I also promised another coworker that I would go to the gym with her today, but didn’t pack my bags this morning. Whoops. I guess we’ll have to start going next week. The thought of sweating just didn’t sound very pleasant. Yuck. This holiday has been the worst. Clients are sending goody packages left and right, and coworkers are bring in trays of cookies and brownies. Not good.

Anyway, I guess I should get some work done.

Reesey’s been doing good, Brian’s making yet another layout for this site, and so far I like it.

As for the other stuff, parents are doing fine, car is running great, married life is peachy. Woohoo.

Then I get a call today saying he can go home in 45 minutes. I drive over there during my lunch break, expecting to just pick him up, but of course the nurses have NO clue if he’s even been signed off on or if the doctor has seen him that day. I SPOKE TO THE DOCTOR ON THE PHONE MYSELF!!!! They told me to just come back after work because they can’t get their acts together. I just want this to be over with, and yes I’ve been bitter about it, not because I have to take care of my parents, but because I AM THE ONLY ONE responsible enough to do so, since my siblings are useless. Granted, they live thousands of miles away, but seriously, if they really cared, one of them would fly down. I’m pretty sure that they’re glad they’re not stuck with that responsibility.

Anyway, I just want my life back. I want to be able to just go home, cook, work on stuff and spend time with my husband and dog.