Happy 1st Birthday

Dear Ella,

It’s been a year of many blessings. It’s hard to put into words the love I have for you. The sense of pride and joy I have when we see you reach a new milestone.

I can’t believe it’s already been a year. I wish I can freeze time or perhaps put you in a bottle so you can stay tiny forever.

I will always remember the first few weeks we spent together. Holding you in my arms letting you sleep on my chest or snuggling with you on the couch. Nowadays you don’t fall asleep as easily in my arms but in the rare cases that you do, I just hang out and savor every bit of it until you wake up grumpy because you’ve shifted into a less comfortable position.

I still can’t believe I’m breastfeeding you. They say its the best thing you can do for a baby. Going into it I was thinking it would be max of 8 months. And there are many times in which I wanted to give up. I am happy to say that I stuck it out for the full year and will miss the bonding and attachment when this process is all over in a week or so.

As for eating solids, you’ve become quite unpredictable. You started out loving food. And I loved planning out your meals and pureeing all thee different organic veggies I can think of. Then somehow you became a picky eater. There were days when you didn’t want food and days when you wanted more. It’s so hard to tell what you like or don’t like because you treat all food items so inconsistently. I hope we get past this soon and enjoy food as much as your mom and dad.

Another inconsistent behavior is your sleeping habits. It’s the second most annoying thing (next to your eating ones). I can’t figure out what it is maybe we are just too tired to think about it. But half the time you sleep through the night and the other half you wake up screaming. Luckily the last few weeks you’ve been able to fall asleep on your own but for awhile we thought the cycle would never end. We still try to nap when you nap because you wear us out!

I’m writing this post in light of a horrific tragedy. One that certainly hits close to home. Something unimaginable caused by evil that I hope someday you’ll never have to encounter and learn about. Unfortunately in my lifetime there have been many of these tragedies and as your mama I will do my best to protect you and show you as much love as a being can give. You will always be kept safe.

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