Our Married Life

We are still tired and sleepy but at least we get to sleep in. I don’t think we get out of bed till around 10 am.

Baby’s congestion is still going strong. We’ve tried just about everything but you can still hear her struggle to breathe at night. Luckily she’s able to sleep. The last couple of days she’s been grunting more during her sleep. I think it’s just a new found ability and probably related to gas, but Brian seems to think its related to her congestion. I guess we will ask the doc during our next appt.

I just hope her congestion goes away so that she can sleep in her pack n play and eventually her own crib before month 2.

Baby E has been stuffed up for over a week. She’s sleeping much better since we started having her sleep in her bouncer but I’m not doing much better.

She sounds so small and fragile. Makes it hard to not wake up every time she makes a noise. She breathes fine most of the time but when she tries to take a deep breath she really struggles. She wheezes big and sounds awful and miserable but usually settles right back to sleep. I wish I could do the same.

Everything says congestion is very common in newborns/babies but that doesn’t stop me from worrying. We are using saline spray, a humidifier, and steam to try to clear it up but I’m not sure it’s helping.

Hopefully she starts feeling better soon.

We aren’t quite at 3 weeks yet, almost though. It feels like forever ago when I gave birth. Baby E has changed so much over the last few days. It’s amazing. I guess with all the events and family over the last week and a half it’s been hard to track any real milestones.

We are still working on getting the feeding in a rhythm that works for us. I’ve been pumping more over the past week only because it was easier. But each time I pump, I feel guilty that I’m missing out on any bonding we may have. So beginning last night I’ve cut back. I feel like we’ve started over.

It seems that after feeding off one side she’s done. She’d go for about 20 minutes so I’m not concerned that she’s not getting enough. But that leaves me lopsided until her next feeding. Perhaps after today we’ll both figure each other out and my body can regulate the supply based on her needs. I plan to
pump a couple times a day just so she gets used to the bottle.

We also had to start giving her a paci
only because she kept reaching for her fingers. But luckily we haven’t had to use it the last couple of days. Maybe because I’ve responded by feeding her. So far she’s eating every 2.5 – 3 hours. I still rely on an alarm at night, but she usually starts stirring and waking a few minutes before it goes off.

I really hope we get this straightened out by the time Brian goes to work next week…luckily all the family have left so no more distractions.

I grew up a Christian while both parents practiced both Buddhism and Christianity. Since college I haven’t really been in touch with my faith, probably because I wasn’t forced to go to church every Sunday. I’d like to start Baby E on the right foot. But Brian and I need to reacclimate ourselves with the church environment. We tried a few churches over the years but never found one that stuck. We want to be part of a church community that we feel comfortable in.

We really don’t want to go to church just for the sake of the baby…

This just means that things like the baby’s baptism may have to wait a few months or maybe a few years.

I hope by doing this, Baby E will have a solid foundation in her faith. She can then decide what she wants to do when she gets older.

I had to drop off a few things at the funeral home yesterday. I asked to see my dad at that time. I can’t describe the emotion. It was both fear and sadness. Fear because I’m in the room with my dad’s dead body. Sadness bc I wanted to say something but knew he wouldn’t hear me. I’m glad I got to see him
alone, and was comforted knowing that Brian and Baby E were in the car waiting for me.

I’m hoping Monday is the last time I will have to deal with this process….

I’ve become a heavy sleeper. Occasionally I would wake up if I don’t hear a peep from the baby. Or if she’s stirring or breathing funny. Now I can barely wake up unless I have my alarm setup for her feeding times. Sleep must be catching up with me. I finally put in a good nap yesterday only to be waken up by a phone call.

I’m hoping in the next couple days we can figure out a schedule so that B can get all the sleep he needs since he goes back to work in a few days. I feel guilty waking up and seeing that he’s already taking care of the baby.

In other news, we finally got a call back from her pediatrician regarding her newborn screening test. It looks like we have nothing to worry about. There’s a probability that she may develop anemia later in life but they monitor iron counts on little girls anyway do we will know early on if it’s an issue. We can now breathe easier….

It’s hard for me to focus on the big picture when life is chaotic. Chaos in the sense that I feel like I have no
control over the house or the dogs, baby, life.

As y’all know, my dad was pretty ill. He had a bunch of infections that they could no longer treat. On new years eve, a week after Baby E was born I got a call from my sister that he had passed. I am sad that we didn’t get to see him, but relieved that he no longer has to suffer. Thank goodness we Skyped a few days earlier and he at least got to see us and talk to us face to face. He even got to see the dogs. I’m sad that Baby E won’t have any memories of him. I hope I have enough stories to share when she’s older.

With this going on, everything I wanted to do around the house is piling up. Unfortunately we’ve had an endless flow of family coming through with more trash created and more things piling up. Its daunting to the point where I don’t know where to begin. Brian’s been truly helpful in that department but we’ve been so sleep deprived the last couple of days that it’s hard to do anything else.

We originally thought that she was overdressed or underdressed. Then it became clear last night that she has a stuffy nose. Poor baby can barely breathe laying flat on her back. She wouldn’t sleep at night. Thankfully someone at work had gifted us a nose spray for infants so we started using that. Last night we had her sleep on the bouncer so that her head is elevated and she actually slept through the night. She only wakes when she was hungry or needed her diaper changed.

I have my alarm set for every two hours to remind me of her feeding time. It went off last night at 1am and after turning it off I think I just went back to sleep. At 2:30 the baby started fussing and I realized I didn’t feed her an hour ago. I felt horrible. But I was just too sleepy. I’m logging every feeding and diaper change into an app so we can track them. It’s a little much but it’s good to have logged so we can track any issues.

Today’s plan is to do more laundry and chill with the baby.

I’ll also be working on the sideshow for my dads funeral and putting together the program. Speaking of funeral, my
Siblings want to have a traditional Buddhist service. Fine by me, but personally I would’ve wanted him to be buried with a traditional Christian service. I guess he would’ve wanted it the other way, it will just make this experience different for me. But that doesn’t matter… Unfortunately some of the family isn’t showing up bc we are having a Buddhist ceremony. WTF???
I have more thoughts on this but my brain is too tired right now.

I just need to get through this weekend so that I can really focus on myself and the baby.

One last update. We got a call from the pediatrician that her newborn screening came back abnormal. The screening for anemia came back with not normal
results. We are still waiting on a call
back, so as new parents we are a freaking out. I really hope it’s nothing.

Chaos I tell ya…

Since we brought E home we’ve kept the house pretty warm compared to before. The thermostat has been at 72/73 overnight. Since we still have family here we’ve been sleeping with bedroom door closed and that seems to make it ever worse.

She has been so fussy at night the last few nights and I think it may be because she has been too warm. The room temp is at about 73 plus we are over bundling her so we need to make her more comfortable.

I turned down the heat trying to get room temp between 65-70 and also removed layers from her outfit. Let’s hope it makes her feel better and also be much less fussy.